2. January 2016,

Developing self-esteem

How valuable do you feel and do you realize how much value has your SELF?

Often we confound self-esteem with material things. We believe we have only value if we have a lot of money or drive an expensive car, have a position as respected leader or awarded a Ph.D.. Of course, these things are important in life but we should examine more closely what self-esteem really means for each of us .

 Is it perhaps the presence of happiness or satisfaction ?
Is it the lack of love or it’s an uncertainty residing deep within us that brings us this unrest when we just relax?

What means self-esteem to you?
How much value do you allow yourself?


Self-worth , maybe it’s a feeling that everyone feels individually. A lack of self- esteem can be the root of many problems, and also the cause of many desires and behaviours.

What do we want to achieve with our professional success, with a lot of money or other luxury things ? We want to feel better. We want to feel the sensation of our own worth. We believe that if we get the sense of the own value then we will feel better. Please watch your thoughts just for a moment,  have a look on your inner dialogue how you communicate with yourself.
Do you have any critical thoughts, judgments, valuations, accusations or devaluations ? How do you talk to yourself? For example : “Why does it happen always only to me ?” , “Others can do it better than me” , “This should not have happened” , “How can you be so careless? ,” ” My employees do not listen to me”. These and other beliefs accompany us the whole day.

Why are satisfied people poor consumers? Because they are shopping mindfully. Behind most purchases of status symbols, such as jewellery, watches , shoes, designer clothes or cars, is always hidden a motive, we want these things to upgrade ourselves. According to surveys and studies people who are feeling already valuable want more time and freedom for self- discovering.

Who did not recognize and did not develop his own self-worth yet, is faster receptive to the opinions of others, and is therefore in danger of being to fall into dependency easily. If someone, for example, flatters you, he enhances you with it and then you feel more valuable…so how well can you live without it again? Is it easy for you to let go again this value increase by these people?

What am I willing to do to save my worth in the eyes of the people or get more of it?

Am I still myself and authentic in these actions? Am I faithful to myself ? Maybe then you will be aware of the differences. You might notice that you let do something with you, what does not do well to you, and thus weakens the sense of your self-worth. Because whenever someone permits that he is not treated appreciative, he shows himself that there is a part within him which thinks he is of little value.

How can you develop your self-worth ?
From my experience, it’s a long process to develop your own self-worth what needs a safe space as well as time and consists of many small steps. With a few good suggestions or affirmations you won’t get rid of unconscious blockades. It needs consciousness: a mindful lifestyle and a clear decision wanting to go in this direction. You need a lot of practice in exercising mindfulness, willingness for confronting yourself and a lot of patience for getting aware of your own habits and blockades.

Even the longest journey begins with the first step.
The first step begins with self-awareness, getting to know yourself first. From indescribably great importance is then to accept what life shows you and to learn to honour yourself. To accept yourself as you really are, this is truly the very big challenge which decides on your quality of life. To honour fully yourself is not as easy as it might seem at the first glance.
How often do you do something without really wanting to do it? Have you then self- assumed when you demanded from yourself to act against your needs and desires ? Why do you treat yourself like that? Is this appreciative ? Is that accepting ? How open are you to alternatives ? Are you worth it?

The big changes take a little bit longer. But you can start with the first step and ask yourself: “How can I give pleasure to me right now and how can I make me aware of a known value to me? How does this value touch me?”

Maybe you would just like to honour yourself for what you did well yesterday or today, for example I have set up an online blog within 1 hour, or I have re-discovered a good wine in the restaurant around the corner or today I have praised my staff in the meeting, or yesterday I have stopped in the street to let someone pass by, or today I tweeted a wise quote etc. Every day we do so many good things but we are mostly aware only of the negative beliefs.

You have more self-esteem than you think. Allow yourself to discover it and take some time … a moment now … for your self-worth …

Yours Gloria Samadhi 

I am pleased if you would pass on the blog article to your friends and acquaintances.


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